Should You Keep the Ring After Your Divorce?

What Should You Do With Your Engagement Ring?

Did you know that a lot of people fight over what happens to the engagement ring after a divorce? And while there is law in different states that tells you what could happen with it, I want to talk about the ring in a different way.

It’s not about can you keep the ring. It’s about should you keep the ring?

I have a ring from my grandmother. It’s a thin silver band with some tiny diamond chips. Every time, I put it on I think of her vigor for which she lived every day. That ring’s value has nothing to do with it’s monetary worth, but everything to do with it’s emotional impact.

Is keeping the ring worth it?

Now, let’s talk about your engagement ring. When I was getting divorced, I had people tell me that I should keep it. They said I should turn it into something else. A pendant, perhaps?

But if I did that, every time I opened my jewelry box to put this necklace on what would I think of?

My ex?

A marriage that didn’t work?

Maybe feelings of shame and guilt would come up.

Why would you want to expose yourself to those feelings over and over again? Is the diamond worth it?

Now, if you have a Kim Kardashian size ring, sell that thing and buy a new house. But, lets be honest, most of us don’t so for most of us, that ring has the potential to keep us stuck and holding onto the past.

Maybe it’s time to let it go.

If you and your soon-to-be ex decide to keep it for your child, then it gets tucked away somewhere for them. If you decide you need to sell it to pay some bills, there is a practical reason to ask for it. But, if you are just asking for it because you think it’s yours to keep, I challenge you to ask yourself why you are holding onto it?

Think about your answer. If it’s an emotional response, maybe it’s time to let it go. Maybe it’s time to move on. Maybe it’s time to buy yourself a fabulous new ring that reminds you of your reinvention, and your growth, and your ability to overcome challenges thrown your way so when you look at this new ring, you can stand a little taller and be proud of the journey you’ve been on and the new redefined future that is heading your way.

 

Leave a Reply