Forgive Your Spouse. Forgive Yourself.

If you are struggling to recover emotionally from your divorce, it might be because you haven’t forgiven your spouse or maybe even yourself.  If you can’t seem to get past the anger and hurt and blame game, its probably because you are holding onto waiting and expecting something. Maybe you continue to point your finger at your ex or maybe you are tormenting yourself about what role you played in the breakdown of the marriage. 

But here is the catch: It doesn’t really matter why your marriage ended. It doesn’t matter if one person is more at fault. By holding on to all of the negative feelings that come up, you are preventing yourself from moving forward. There is a new, exciting, peaceful, and maybe even joyful future for you but you won’t get there so long as you stay stuck.

When you hold onto the toxicity and negativity that comes from our past, we are preventing ourselves from healing and being at peace with the present. 

Now, I know saying you should forgive someone is easier said than done because its an internal shift. If you’ve been wronged, I understand that you might not want to forgive. But holding on isn’t hurting your spouse. It’s only hurting you.  And if you are attached to the guilt you have by your own actions, you aren’t growing and healing. Listen, we are all human. Everyone makes mistakes. How about we use our mistakes as an opportunity.

So today, we are going to try something to put the act of forgiveness into motion.

I want you to write a letter to your ex or yourself or maybe to both of you. In the letter apologize, say you forgive them, wish them well in their next chapter of life.

You won’t show them this letter. Its just for you. The act of writing is cathartic in and of itself but the next step is the fun part. You are going to light your letter on fire and send it up into the universe.

They actually make special paper that floats up in the air so if you have that you can do it inside, but otherwise make sure you are outside and not near anything flammable.

Light it. Send it up. Release the negativity. Send your forgiveness into the universe.

….and now consciously make the decision to let go of the past and look towards a bright, happy, peaceful future.

Only you can do the work. Give it a try.