32. Grit and Grace with Amberly Lago

Renee Bauer (00:00):

How often do we get caught up in the woe is me mentality? We hyper-focus on the things that are not going perfect in our life. But when we take a step back, how big are these things really? Usually, not very. Today’s guest went through the unimaginable. She was knocked down over and over again, and ultimately was put in a situation where she could have crumbled with victim mentality. But instead, she decided that was not going to be her fate. She decided that nothing was going to tell her who she was destined to be. This woman is an inspiration. She is a fighter and she is my next guest. I can’t wait for you to meet her.

Speaker 2 (00:42):

The Happy Even After Podcast. The Happy Even After Podcast. Divorce sucks, but it doesn’t need to define you, and it doesn’t need to be the end of your story. The Happy Even After Podcast. Meet your host, Renee Bauer, an award-winning divorce attorney, peacemaker, author, and founder of the D Course, an online divorce educational program. She’s been doing this work for almost two decades and she is passionate about helping all women make it out the other side. The Happy Even After Podcast. Let’s jump in.

Renee Bauer (01:15):

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Happy Even After Podcast. I’m your host, Renee Bauer and I am here with Amberly Lago today. Amberly is an author and motivational speaker and the host of her own podcast called True Grit and Grace Podcast. She has a best-selling book called Grit and Grace, Turning Tragedy Into Triumph, which tells the story of how her life was forever altered by a devastating motorcycle accident and the victory she discovered through her recovery. In this memoir, she weaves the tale of her childhood and early adulthood alongside the grueling process of healing from 34 surgeries and also being diagnosed with chronic regional pain syndrome.

Renee Bauer (02:03):

She has been featured in The Doctors, the Today Show and Health and Shape magazine amongst many others. She’s also divorced twice, and now married again. Amberly inspires her readers and followers to thrive, even when their circumstances have narrowed their possibilities, and she delivers hope and encouragement to everyone. So I just knew I had to have her on, and there’s so many topics I want to talk about. So thank you so much for being here.

Amberly Lago (02:33):

Oh Renee, thank you so much for having me on and thank you for that lovely introduction. I’m just, I want to hang out with you all the time.

Renee Bauer (02:44):

I would love to. So I guess let’s just start with, I mean, your journey is so filled with so many opportunities for growth and so many things that really could turn someone’s life upside down and really take them out at their knees. So let’s start when you’re 38 years old, you get into this devastating motorcycle accident and it just shook your world. So can you talk a little bit about that?

Amberly Lago (03:16):

Yeah. I think that a lot of times we’re going through a difficult situation and at the time it’s hard to see light at the end of the tunnel. It’s hard to understand why these things are happening. And I think if we get caught up in why me, why did this happen, it can take us down a road of despair and depression. I know it was for me. When I was 38, I had, like you had mentioned before, I had been divorced twice and I thought that that’s it, I’m done with men. I’ve got a daughter, I’ve got my career. And then, I met the man of my dreams and I was like, okay, maybe third time’s the charm. And so, we had a baby. We didn’t think we were going to be able to have a baby. We’d been trying for a couple of years, and we finally had a baby.

Amberly Lago (04:09):

My career was booming. I had just started doing fitness videos again. I was sponsored by Nike, so life was good and everything changed in an instant when I was coming home from work and an SUV shot out of a parking lot, they made a left and I was going straight, and so they hit me. I was T-boned and then thrown 30 feet. As I was sliding across the asphalt, I didn’t know if I was going into oncoming traffic. And I just remember thinking, please just don’t let another car hit me.

Amberly Lago (04:47):

When I came to a stop, I looked down at my leg and it was just broken into pieces. Blood was squirting out like one of those horror movies, because my femoral, I didn’t know it at the time. Thank goodness I didn’t know this, but my femoral artery was severed. And so, I was basically bleeding out. I didn’t know that you can bleed out pretty quick. I had a guy made a tourniquet on my leg right away. And one of the first thoughts that I had was, oh gosh, I may have to train clients on crutches for a while.

Renee Bauer (05:19):

Oh my God, that’s what you were thinking in that moment?

Amberly Lago (05:22):

Yes. Yeah. And I think looking back that was one of my defaults was how can I go around this? What am I going to do next? My default is to find a solution and usually a solution that’s going to make me happy or bring me joy. And for me, my joy is working with other people and seeing them grow. And I thought, well, how am I going to do that? Oh, I’ll have to do it on crutches. And so I didn’t even realize that at the time, but that was the thought going through my head. I, however, had no idea just how serious it was until I looked and people didn’t run over to me. I mean, thank God there was that guy that made a tourniquet, but I could tell by the people’s faces, because they were just walking up to me really slow and they looked scared and one lady fainted, and I was like, wow, this must be really bad because this lady just fainted. And then the paramedics got there.

Amberly Lago (06:22):

I remember thinking, okay. You know when you look into somebody’s eyes for like reassurance or how bad is this or I’m okay, right? I remember the paramedics wouldn’t look at me. He wouldn’t make eye contact with me and I thought, oh my God, that was the first thought of, am I dying? Am I going to live through this? When I got to the ER, it was crazy. The room was packed with cops, because my husband is a cop and word travels fast in a brotherhood and sisterhood in the police force. And they thought maybe I was a cop that had been hit, but my husband was there and I heard just this crying like wailing. And I was like, what is that? And it was my husband. I’d never seen him cry. He’s this big strong man. And so, that was another thing I was like, oh my gosh, this must be really bad.

Amberly Lago (07:17):

I told him, “Honey, I need you to get over here and be strong for me.” Because at that time I thought I may never wake up from this. They said, “I’m going to give you something to make you feel all better,” and that was the last thing I remembered before I was put in induced coma. When I woke up they told me, you have a 1% chance of saving your legs, so we’re going to go ahead and amputate it. And I said, “Whoa, Whoa, wait a minute, 1%, so there’s still a chance.” I said, “Then I want to fight to keep my leg.” And I think that’s where we’re given a choice.

Amberly Lago (07:56):

I think that when you realize you have a choice, you don’t always have a choice when a car comes plow on into you, you don’t always have a choice in whether you get fired from a job or you have a spouse that cheats on you and leaves the relationship or so many things, but we do have a choice in how we’re going to choose hope. How we’re we going to choose faith, how we’re going to choose our attitude. How we’re going to make a decision to make our life the best that it can possibly be despite our circumstances. And so, that 1% chance was my glimmer of hope. And I think sometimes that’s all we need is just that little glimmer of hope. Maybe that 1%, that person, that one person that says, I believe in you, I’ve got you, to get us through those hard moments.

Amberly Lago (08:46):

And so it’s really been a journey. It took 34 surgeries to save my leg from amputation and it has taken really year. It took a couple of years of in and out of a wheelchair, but that’s a blessing too, because I was told I’d be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life and now I can work out. I can’t run the way I used to, but I can run to chase after my daughter, and I have even beat her sometimes, but. I was diagnosed with a nerve disease called complex regional pain syndrome, which has dubbed the suicide disease because it leaves me in constant chronic pain.

Amberly Lago (09:26):

When I was diagnosed with that disease, it was really, truly the beginning of where I had to dig deep to find grit. And by the grace of God, I was able to pull out of my darkest moment and start to find joy again. And so, I want to tell anybody who’s listening to this and who might be struggling right now because I think a lot of us are struggling with so much uncertainty and so many job losses and even deaths. My brother had COVID and he’s fine. He recovered. But I think it’s been probably one of the toughest moments for a lot of people in this past year. And that hope is always available and happiness is a choice, and we have the ability to manufacture that happiness. It’s not something that’s given to us, but we can make it through our daily choices.

Renee Bauer (10:21):

So did you, the disease that you were diagnosed with, was that because of the accident or was that the cherry on top after the accident?

Amberly Lago (10:30):

Yeah, well that was … So I was hit by the car and I was in a lot of pain, but I thought that’s part of it, my legs crushed. I’ve got still rods and in my leg, it looked like it hurt and so when doctors would see it. And so I wasn’t diagnosed with CRPS until about three and a half months after the accident, when there I was so proud to be upright on crutches. I remember getting dressed that day to go to the doctor’s appointment and thinking in my head, he’s going to be so proud of me. I have worked so hard to push through this pain and to cowgirl up and to just suck it up and keep going, and he’s going to be so proud of me.

Amberly Lago (11:15):

And I walked in his office and the look on his face, he looked at me and he ran out of the room and I thought, I looked at my husband and I said, “Well, that’s not really the reaction I was hoping for. He doesn’t look very proud, he looked more scared.” I knew something was wrong. And he came back and he did some tests on me and he said, you’ve got something very serious. And I was like, “Yeah, I got hit by an SUV, it’s pretty serious.” And he goes, “No, you have a disease.”

Amberly Lago (11:44):

And so, that’s when I was diagnosed the first time and I didn’t want to believe it. And so, I was like, screw that. I do not have this disease. Uh-uh (negative), I am going to fight to prove him wrong and to get my life back. And the pain was getting worse and worse. And so, I went to another doctor and I was like, I just was like, “This other doctor said a little something and I don’t think he’s right, but I just thought I’d get a checkup.” And he was like, “Yeah, I don’t think you’ve got CRPS, but let’s examine you anyway,” because to look at me, I don’t look sick, right?

Renee Bauer (12:22):

Right.

Amberly Lago (12:23):

And then they’re like, “Okay, well, take your boots off. Let’s take a look at your leg and do a couple of tests.” And I took my boot off and he goes, “Oh no, you definitely have it.” And I was crushed. And so, I still didn’t want to believe it, I went to a third doctor. And the third doctor, when the third doctor told me, and he even, he did a house call and he came to the house and we went outside. We were sitting on the back patio. When he told me, I just, I broke down in tears because I really felt like I had been given a life sentence of the life as you know it is over. You’re never going to be able to work again. You’ll never run again. You need to get back in your wheelchair and put your leg up.

Amberly Lago (13:09):

I was devastated because running was my drug of choice, running and exercises were the only tool that I had, and when I couldn’t do that is when I really spiraled down into a depression. And that’s where I had to figure out pretty quickly how to pull myself back out of that. And I learned that it’s not about sucking it up and pushing through pain all the time. It’s about really listening to your body and having self-compassion and learning to love yourself through the mess and through the imperfections and the failures and the setbacks.

Amberly Lago (13:50):

And when you can do that, man, that’s when you can really start to live a life of joy, when you can just be an acceptance for where you are. And that was hard for me. I did not want to not only accept my situation, but I hated the way I looked. I was very ashamed of the way I looked. I thought, how … I mean, I even got to the point where I was like, I’m not the woman that my husband married. He could find a better wife. My kids could find another mother.

Renee Bauer (14:25):

Oh my gosh.

Amberly Lago (14:25):

They’re better off if I was just gone. They deserve more. I was worthless. I felt worthless. I was the main breadwinner of the family, and now I was out of work. We had $2.9 million worth of medical bills. I mean, my stepmother committed suicide, my little brother was just sentenced to death row in Texas. They don’t screw around there. And so, life sucked. I mean, it was bad. It was really bad. And plus, I couldn’t move the way that I used to. I mean, at one time I even when I was confined to the bed, the hospital bed, I even had to rely on my husband to carry my bed pan for me.

Amberly Lago (15:08):

So I always think when I’m nervous about something or I’m worried about something, or if I’m having a tough time with a decision or when I was so nervous to do my Ted Talk. I think if I can get through those times, I can get up on that stage and give that talk. And so, I really highly suggest to anybody who’s listening, the hardest thing you’ve ever been through, think about that and how you got through it. So the next time you’re struggling and you’re like, oh my God, how am I going to get through this? You think about that last hard thing, and you’re like, I got through that, I can do this. It gives you the confidence and the boost you need to keep moving forward.

Renee Bauer (15:56):

Yeah. That’s such great advice.

Speaker 2 (15:58):

We’ll be back just after this message. If you are feeling confused and overwhelmed by the divorce process, the D. Course can help. This video course will educate and empower you to make the best decisions for your future. Taught by an experienced divorce attorney, you will learn everything you need to move forward into your next chapter. Head on over to www.thedcourse.com for more information. You do not have to do this alone.

Renee Bauer (16:29):

So let’s talk about your divorces because right before we started recording we both shared that we are both twice divorced and married the third time, but we also shared that we both had shame around it. So talk a little bit about that and how you learned to trust again and love again and commit again after that.

Amberly Lago (16:54):

Yeah. It took me a long time to trust again. I got married the first time when I was younger, I was 23 and I was eight months pregnant. And I really didn’t … I knew he was not the man for me. I knew in my heart he wasn’t the man, but I was pregnant and my family in Texas they’re old school. I mean, I come from the Bible belt. When I told them that I was pregnant and I was moving in with my boyfriend, it was like, that was very shameful to them. And so, I felt that shame. And so I thought, well, I’m going to get married and make this right and plus it’ll make it easier to bring her in the hospital, we have the same last name and.

Amberly Lago (17:45):

But, my gut was right and I think your gut never lies. You always have to listen to your gut because your head will try to tell you otherwise, and your heart will too, but your gut never lies. And I knew it wasn’t right. And it was really wrong. I mean, I’m not going to tell you all the horrible things that happened, but I thought that I could forgive the cheating. And when it got worse than cheating, I was like, okay, I’m out. I don’t want to raise my daughter around someone for her to think that it’s okay for a woman to be treated as poorly as I was being treated. I want more for my daughter. So she was my inspiration for walking out.

Amberly Lago (18:30):

And that was scary because I barely worked, I left. He had ran up … I bought a car for him, he stopped making payments on the car. I had a credit card for him, he maxed out the credit card. So I had nothing and it was really hard just to pay the rent every month. And then when my daughter was two years old, so not that much longer, I met a man who he’s an incredible man. I mean, to this day, if he called me and said he needed something, I would be there. Okay, what do you need? I’m there for you. He’s an incredible man. He is an incredible father figure to my daughter.

Amberly Lago (19:18):

I remember when I met him at first, I had a friend that wanted to introduce me. And I remember when I met him, I was like, oh my God, this guy is so gorgeous. And then he was from Texas like me and he was successful and so nice. He was so sweet to my daughter. The first time I introduced him to my daughter, my daughter was in her diaper and she looked at him and she was like, “I like him.” And I was like, okay, done deal, she likes him. And so it was like, it moved very fast. Then I think he made me feel safe. He made me feel, he was such a good father figure for her, but then I realized quickly that that’s what he was. He was a good father figure for her, but it wasn’t necessarily the greatest match for me. And I was like, I want so much more. I want to continue …

Amberly Lago (20:20):

I was very motivated and just beginning my career, and he got stuck and depressed and it was hard. And so I made the decision to leave and I thought, well, I’m good, I don’t really want to be with anyone. I walked away from our home, so he got the house. And again, I was starting over from scratch and I thought, I’m building up my career and I was single for years. And then after that, I would not let anyone around my daughter. When I did start to date, I dated a guy for a little while and we dated for over a year before I even introduced him to my daughter. I was just really protective of her. And then when she was 11, I met my current husband.

Amberly Lago (21:10):

When I met my current husband, he pursued me for a month hard. I mean, I’m talking, he would actually pull me over in the cop car. I would be … I mean, every night, every night, I would get off work and be driving home and hear sirens and it would be him. And I can say that now because he’s retired and he won’t get in trouble. But I met him, and I don’t know, I just remember we met and he asked me to go away with him after the first month. And I was like, go away for a weekend? I was so nervous, and to let that wall down of trusting that he was going to be okay and that I can introduce him to my daughter, it was a process.

Amberly Lago (21:57):

But I remember we went jet skiing and I remember looking back at him and he was taking care, loading up the jet skis and he had a car and he was a cop. And I thought this guy has his shit together. I don’t have to take care of him. I don’t have to support him financially. He can support himself. Finally, I think I got a good one. And we have fun together. And he made me laugh and he made me feel so safe, but I still did not trust because I had everything, money and everything taken away from me in the first marriage. The second marriage was not so great. I walked away from the house. And so I thought I still, it wasn’t until my motorcycle accident that we had separate accounts because I was like, okay, yeah, I’m going to marry you and I’ll have a baby with you, but I’m going to have my own bank account, okay?

Amberly Lago (22:55):

It was a process and it wasn’t until I was in a coma and he couldn’t pay the bills because we had separate accounts that we realized, oh my gosh, no, we got married. We have a baby together. We can have separate accounts, but we need to have access to each other’s accounts in case God forbid, something like that happens. And so, I didn’t realize that I had this issue around trust and my finances until that happened. And I think I was able to let go of a lot of the shame around being divorced twice because man, when you are laying in a hospital bed and you don’t know whether or not this is the day they’re going to amputate your leg or not, you don’t even know if you’re going to die. Because I mean, at one point I went septic, so I was put in ICU and they didn’t know if I was going to live through that.

Amberly Lago (23:52):

When you go through those moments, it’s like, you learn to let stuff go, the little stuff go and I’m like, and when you can be an acceptance for … Those were learning experiences for me. I learned to have more self-respect and I went to a therapist when I was with this one guy, I was in a lot of therapy going, oh, God help me, man, I thought I picked a good one and I think I got a loser again. I was like, he’s doing this and he’s doing that. And then she said, “We teach people how to treat us. So you’re teaching him that it’s okay to treat you that way.” And so, that was a big moment of like, oh yeah, she put it on me to really take some accountability for my part in the relationship.

Amberly Lago (24:48):

And so, every relationship I’ve been in, I don’t regret. I don’t regret my first marriage because I learned that I’m a strong woman, I can take care of myself and I can be an example for my daughter of how a loving relationship should look like. And he gave me the gift of my daughter. My second relationship, I learned so much about that too, about myself, about how to be in a relationship. I definitely made a lot of mistakes. And now this relationship, I’m still learning and just navigating your way around going through difficult situations. I think that it can either tear you apart or it can be an opportunity to bond you even closer. And for us, thankfully not that our relationship is perfect by any means, by any means.

Renee Bauer (25:39):

There’s no such thing. There’s no such thing.

Amberly Lago (25:43):

It’s comical sometimes. It’s like, oh my goodness, it’s crazy, but we have managed to … We have a bond that’s so tight because what I’ve gone through wasn’t just my, it’s not my story, it’s our story. And I’ve told him this isn’t my book, this is our book. This is our journey together. And so, for that, and it’s his third marriage too. And I remember he would tell people, “Oh, well this is both of our third marriages and if this doesn’t work out,” he’s like, “I think I’m just going to go gay.”

Renee Bauer (26:19):

Oh my gosh.

Amberly Lago (26:23):

I’m like, okay, to each their own, but no. And I would have a lot of shame when he would say that at a dinner party, and now I’m just like, it is what it is. And when you can just let go of that shame, it’s very freeing.

Renee Bauer (26:39):

Yeah. And you know what, I had that same thing and I felt the shame and I was almost embarrassed to talk about it. And then you switch how you think about it, and you’re like, you know what, I respected myself enough to walk away from a relationship that had its season and wasn’t serving me anymore and to move towards something different, regardless of what that looks like. And now look at, had you stayed in that second one because you were embarrassed to get divorced twice, I mean, think about what your life would be now compared to what it is.

Amberly Lago (27:12):

Exactly.

Renee Bauer (27:12):

I think that that’s so many people get stuck in that relationship because they don’t want the divorce, the title of being divorced, or they don’t want the embarrassment of saying, hey, it didn’t work out or it was a failed marriage, which I don’t think any relationship is a failure. It’s all such a learning experience.

Amberly Lago (27:30):

Yeah, it is. And I mean, I think you have to really ask yourself and pause long enough to get quiet with your emotions and let those feelings rise to the surface and ask yourself, is this it? Is this okay? Am I good with this? Or am I meant for more? Do I want more out of a relationship? And I mean, in my second marriage, we went to therapy and I wanted to at least try and try going to therapy and try to work it out. But I think that, again, your gut, you know whether … For me, I can think about if I can picture myself doing something or being … I can see myself growing old with my husband. I can see that, so I know. I know that sounds woo woo or wacky, but I can see us growing together old.

Amberly Lago (28:26):

I knew my relationship was over with my second marriage when I would try, oh my gosh, I would try so hard to envision what that would look like growing old with him, and I just couldn’t see it. I couldn’t see us together. We were going in such different directions. I couldn’t see us together. And so, I think that I use that tool when I try to envision what things would look like, because I see it. I mean, I always say, oh, if I can see it, I can believe it. But I think sometimes if you can believe it, you can see it. And I really believe that I’m going to be in a happy relationship with my husband for years to comes. Not that it’s not going to have its rocky moments and difficult times, it’s just, we change, we get older, everything changes.

Renee Bauer (29:18):

Right.

Amberly Lago (29:18):

And so, but I think that it’s important to really look inside and ask yourself those questions, are you really happy?

Renee Bauer (29:27):

So anytime I have an author on, I have to talk about the writing process and their journey because I’m a writer too. So what inspired you to write your book? And it is a bestselling book, and I know that your journey, we’re just scratching the surface of what is in your book and the journey that you’ve gone through and how you’ve come out of it. So when did you say, you know what, I need to put this all down on paper? And, was that a healing process in and of itself?

Amberly Lago (29:53):

Oh, that was cathartic, but it was surprising because there were things that I wrote about in the book that I thought that I had dealt with. And it’s so different when … I actually hand wrote my whole entire book.

Renee Bauer (30:07):

Wow.

Amberly Lago (30:08):

I didn’t even own a computer. I wanted to write a book because I’d been asked to do several speaking engagements and stuff and just networking events and asked to share my story. And so I had people go, you should write a book because you could make a bigger impact, then I was like, well, that’s what I really want to do is I want to give people hope and the inspiration and the tools that they could use to get through hard times. And yeah, if I can get through this and help somebody else, well, yeah, that’s what I want to do. So my motivation for writing it was, my big why was I wanted to be of service to others to help them climb out of whether it was alcoholism, depression, anxiety, trauma, chronic pain, divorce, sexual abuse.

Amberly Lago (30:57):

And so that was my big why. So that allowed me to overcome the self-doubt that I had, because I was like, who am I to write a book? That major imposter syndrome like I’m not smart enough, I’m not good enough. I don’t even own a computer, but I was like, but no, I want to help others. So that’s what I would use to continually every day, just write, just write. It took me two years to write my book. And so I share that it took me about two years, well, I take that back, two years from when I wrote it to got a publisher to got it published, I would say a two year span, and I-

Renee Bauer (31:35):

Which isn’t that long in the publishing world.

Amberly Lago (31:37):

It’s really not because I went with a hybrid publisher. The publishing phase was shorter, it was only about a year. But sometimes traditional publishing can be two years, two and a half sometimes years. It can be a long process. And so, I share that because some people just think, oh, and maybe for some people it is easier just to write it, self-publish it, done. But for me it was a process. It was very cathartic and I loved that I wrote it on paper because I think it came out differently. Because even when I’m tapping up at something as simple as an Instagram post, if I’m typing it, it’s different because in my mind I’m editing it and I’m trying to make it perfect. And when I write, it’s just straight from my heart right on paper.

Amberly Lago (32:28):

And so I wrote it then had a lot of people saying, you’ll never be an author. You’ll never do this. Who are you to write? I mean, I didn’t have a lot of support. And I was like, well, I need a computer. So I went and bought a computer because I spent my whole life on the dance floor as a professional dancer and then on the gym floor as a professional trainer, I didn’t sit behind a desk, ever. And so that writing was very cathartic and at one point my editor actually came over and was like, “I need to stop by your house and make sure you’re okay. I just need to see to …” I’m like, “Yeah, I’m okay.” He’s like, “I need to make sure.” He goes, “I feel like you’ve opened a can of worms and or opened the lid off of a lot of past trauma and I want to make sure that you’re okay.”

Amberly Lago (33:18):

And so, it was very cathartic and I had no idea and I don’t think anyone in my family had any idea that it would actually be a best seller. I remember sitting in this office on the floor and when I got my books, I had a bunch of books stacked on the floor and I was bent down to take a picture. My husband comes in the office, he’s like, “What are you doing?” And I said, “Well, I’m trying to come up with a post. I don’t know how to post or market this.” And so, Barney Brown, this is what she did and I’m going to New York to be on the Today Show, and she’s going to be in New York to launch her book. And he said, “Well, don’t you think she’ll get upset if she sees you’re copying what she did?” And I said, “Honey, Barney Brown is never going to notice someone like me.”

Amberly Lago (34:04):

Well, three days later, I go to New York, I’m on the Today Show, Megyn Kelly’s interviewing me. And my book hits bestseller in three categories that day, because I was on the Today Show, that’s the power of media and not necessarily anything I did. It’s just the … I mean, I worked hard to get it, but it was like, it just shows you the power of being on national TV. And so, I look on Amazon, the publisher called and said, “Congratulations, we’ve never had an author hit numbers like this. You’re a bestseller in three categories.” And he goes, “Did you see?” And I looked, because I wasn’t paying attention to that. I was just like, oh my God, I got to meet Megyn Kelly, this is the best day ever. And I looked and it was Barney Brown’s book, True Grit and Grace and Dr. Wayne Dyer. I was in between two of my favorite authors.

Amberly Lago (35:00):

And so, if there is anybody listening, and they say 80% of people want to write a book, that wants to write a book, I say, go for it, forget the naysayers, stop that negative mindset. If you’ve got that little voice like I think we all do, saying, who are you to do that? You’re too old, you’re too young. You’re not smart enough. Whatever the voice is, because I had all those voices trying to talk me out, just do it. Write a little bit every day. And you never can imagine the impact you can make.

Amberly Lago (35:34):

I mean, I was just in tears earlier, because I got a message from a girl who has the same nerve disease as me and she left me this long voice message, well, there was six of them of DMs because they can only be a minute long on Instagram. She left me a DM saying how it changed her mindset and her life to read my book and to meet me through social media because she didn’t know that … She thought she’s diagnosed and this was the life she was going to have. And sometimes it just takes that simple shift in perspective, and that’s what I want to do for people, shift your perspective so you can see different ways of getting through challenging times.

Renee Bauer (36:18):

Amberly, how do we find you? How to more people connect with you? Where do they find your book?

Amberly Lago (36:23):

Oh, well you can always find me at amberleylago.com. I hang out on Instagram a lot and I check all my DMs and try to respond to every single comment. My husband gets mad and he’s like, why? You can’t respond to everybody. But that’s what I love. The best part of this whole journey is connecting with people. So let me know that you heard me here on the show and send me a DM so I can connect with you. And if you want also, I love giving tools that people can really apply. And I think I’m not sure when this will come out, but it’s a new year and I’ve got a Goals, Grit and Grace workbook to help you reach your goals no matter what your circumstances are. If you text me, just text the word grit, G-R-I-T to (818) 214-7378 and you can get your free workbook.

Renee Bauer (37:20):

I’ll put all of that in the show notes as well. So I have one final question for you is because this episode will drop right in the new year. So do you believe in new year’s resolutions?

Amberly Lago (37:31):

No. I think I believe in new year’s intentions more than I do resolutions. I feel like even if you come up with one word for the new year, man, that can be your word like that … For me, a lot of what’s been coming up for me is clarity and quality. And so, I think it’s maybe to try something new and pick a word that can be your focal point for the year that so matter what you’re doing like for quality, no matter what kind of work I’m doing, it’s quality work, no matter what kind of time I’m spending it’s with people, my family it’s quality time. So whatever that word may be for you, or I think last year my word was resilience. I had no idea that we would be going into a pandemic.

Renee Bauer (38:27):

I know.

Amberly Lago (38:28):

So that was a good word to pick.

Renee Bauer (38:30):

That’s a great word. My word for 2021 is elevate. So [crosstalk 00:38:34]-

Amberly Lago (38:34):

I love that.

Renee Bauer (38:34):

Yeah. So I am so grateful for this conversation. Thank you so much for sharing. Everyone who’s listening needs to grab a copy of this book because it goes so much deeper than what we can cover in this past half hour. You are truly an inspiration., so thank you.

Amberly Lago (38:51):

Oh Thank you. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (38:53):

That’s a wrap. Link up with us at msreneebauer.com. Remember to rate and review and share with anyone you think might find this episode helpful.

Renee Bauer (39:02):

You can change your story and live happy even after.