31. She Rises From the Ashes with Brittany Szabo

Renee Bauer (00:00):

Alcoholism can devastate a family, but behind that label, behind the judgment from the outside looking in and behind the disease is a person with a story. Today’s guest agreed to come on and talk about her story even though her pain is still so raw today. But her story is one of hope. In this interview, my guest speaks candidly about her struggles, her mistakes, and her passion to help other people going through the same thing. However, like Khaleesi rising from the ashes, this woman decided she had enough and she changed her life and turned her pain into her mission to help others struggling with sobriety. Let me introduce you to Brittany Szabo. Pay attention because this woman is just getting started.

Speaker 2 (01:03):

Meet your host, Renee Bauer, an award-winning divorce attorney, peacemaker, author, and founder of the D-Course, an online divorce educational program. She’s been doing this work for almost two decades and she is passionate about helping all women make it out the other side.

Renee Bauer (01:24):

Hey, everyone. Welcome to the first episode in 2021, of the Happy Even After podcast. This is the first guest episode. So I am here with Brittany Szabo today. And if you’re on TikTok, you probably know Brittany because she is a kind of TikTok superstar over in that world. But that’s really not the reason why I had her here today. So Brittany’s story and journey is so inspiring, and it’s really like whoever watched Game of Thrones, I kind of picture Khaleesi rising from the fire type of story. That’s what I picture when I look at Brittany and everything that she’s doing and sharing. So she has recently started a business that the mission is to empower moms and other women and she’s using her past to help elevate and empower people. So I’m super excited for this conversation. So welcome, Brittany.

Brittany Szabo (02:20):

Hi Renee. Thanks for having me.

Renee Bauer (02:23):

No problem. So let’s just start from the beginning. you say I do, and we all think it’s going to be this happily ever after, and then something changes. So how did things start or where did they change for you?

Brittany Szabo (02:41):

Honestly, things started from when we first met, but I just chose to ignore certain behaviors. So we were married for probably seven years in, and that’s when things kind of… I honestly, I wasn’t even really woke up to it, other people were, they were bringing it to my attention and saying these things weren’t normal. And I was like, what? I’ve been with him for 10 years. And they’re like, no, no, no, it’s not. Just mainly like controlling behaviors and that sort of stuff. So that was about two years ago now.

Brittany Szabo (03:18):

And I kind of had brought the behaviors to his intention and asked if he could work on them and it just ultimately, it wasn’t getting better. So then that’s when I at first brought it up to him about I’m possibly thinking about divorce. But we wanted to make sure that we did everything in our power to avoid that. Divorce was the last thing we wanted to do, obviously for our family. So we did marriage counseling for a while. We actually had like five different therapists because-

Renee Bauer (03:50):

Wow.

Brittany Szabo (03:51):

… I don’t know. We were really not on the same page about anything. I think we both are very stubborn. Right now where I’m at, I’m really good at taking ownership for my actions, but I think back then he was putting it all on me. This is all my fault and I was putting it all on him and we just, it ultimately it wasn’t working. So I had been very open and honest with him through the whole thing, like I’m thinking about divorce, I just want to let you know. I had took the kids and went back to Wisconsin for a month so we could have some time apart. And I tried to communicate with him as best I can. And his whole thing was he didn’t want a divorce. And so it was a big decision for me to know that this was going to be my decision. And then I actually, a big part of my story too is I’m in recovery.

Brittany Szabo (04:34):

So I’m an alcoholic. And really, the whole divorce did not start to have anything to do with my drinking. The drinking we did together, definitely did not help our marriage at all, but ultimately it didn’t even start for any reasons regarding my drinking and in to that… Okay. The summer of 2019, after I had took the kids for a month and we had some time apart, I came back and I ended up in the hospital and I found out when I got out of the hospital that through a bill that we got in the mail that he had went behind my back and filed for divorce. Which he can do, but it’s just like, I was very open and honest and communicating with him, and so just to find out the fact that he would actually go and do that and pay thousands of dollars and just really make a decision like that, I was shocked.

Renee Bauer (05:25):

How old are your kids at the time?

Brittany Szabo (05:26):

So my kids were five and three. My daughter was five, and then my twin boys were three. So-

Renee Bauer (05:36):

Yeah. So where do you go from there? Because that’s… I mean, talk about kicking you when you’re down type of situation. What happens when you come out?

Brittany Szabo (05:46):

Yeah. So literally, I come out and then he decides to say, well, I can still cancel it because it hasn’t actually been filed. It had been like two days and I was like, “Oh, no, no, buddy, you just did what I’ve been talking to you about for the last six months. So no, no, no, no.” And then he… So he kind of was using it as a threat and then he did actually cancel it. So he didn’t actually technically file, he just paid thousands of dollars to have all the work done and then changed his mind. And to his defense, I don’t know if he was in his best frame of mind during that time either. And then ultimately I was like, we’re doing this now, this decision has been made. So, but the best option and the only option we have, because we don’t have a ton of money, the only option we have is going to a mediator and doing this together amicably, that’s the only way this is going down.

Brittany Szabo (06:41):

And so that’s what we did. We went and had everything pretty much finalized, but he still didn’t want this divorce, even though he had already went and filed for divorce and basically says he was forced into signing these papers, which me and the other, the mediator in there, we didn’t force him to sign anything. It was a decision that was supposed to be made for us that was going to be best for the kids, ultimately, because we don’t have hundreds of thousands of dollars to spend on a divorce, which actually that’s what ends up happening. But yeah, so we did that, but then when it got down to money costs, they basically didn’t want to pay me a penny.

Brittany Szabo (07:30):

And the mediator was like, well, that’s not going to work out, here’s what the court would say that you need to pay her, and he said, he didn’t want to pay me a single penny. And then that’s when he went behind my back again. I don’t know what do they call that, like auto litigation or something? I don’t know.

Brittany Szabo (07:46):

So he went and got his own attorney, again, which I didn’t know about. And through this time too, now I had moved out, I had got my own place. I had to start all over because I didn’t take anything from the house. So that was a huge expense. But my drinking, when I moved out, went skyrocket. I think I had this mindset in my head like I’m free, I’ve been with this controlling person for so long, now I’m free and I get to do whatever I want. And it just didn’t go well for Brittany. I only had maybe a month or two moved out, so this is August, 2019. I only had a month or two and then ultimately, I noticed that my drinking was a problem. And so I temporarily gave up custody of my kids to him for 30 days. So I couldn’t-

Renee Bauer (08:42):

How difficult of a decision was that to make? I mean, I imagine that had to be like just gut wrenching.

Brittany Szabo (08:48):

It was. It was gut wrenching. And that’s another reason why we were going to go through a mediator because I have my issues with alcohol and he has his issues with other things. And we had both decided that we are not going to bring us up with attorneys, we are going to figure this out. So when we ended up having to bring it up to the mediator, so we were still actually going to the mediator during this stage, she was shocked. She was like, “Whoa, you guys didn’t tell me you had all this other stuff going on.” And we were like, “Well, we said we were going to keep it between each other, but it’s clearly, it’s out there now.” And so that was really hard, but in my mind, I was like, no problem, 30 days, I can do this.

Brittany Szabo (09:26):

I didn’t realize how far down I was in my disease at that time, because I think I got maybe a week and then I just couldn’t do it. I could not stop drinking. And I pretended to the world like I was, and there was no proof or anything that I was drinking, but I was drinking. And so the day that I was supposed to get them back after the 30 days, it was, well, November 12th, I get a phone call from someone working at his new attorney’s office, which I didn’t even know. So I didn’t even know he had had this new attorney yet. They called and said, “Hey, he has a court date tomorrow, blah, blah, blah,” and I was so confused.

Brittany Szabo (10:11):

I had never been to court before in my life and the court date tomorrow at 8:00 in the morning. And I was like, “Okay, well, do I have to show up?” And she said, “No, you don’t have to be there.” So I was not served papers, I was not… Nothing. And so I ended up calling an attorney and going to meet with her and she’s like, “Honestly, if you haven’t been drinking, if you’ve done everything you’ve said, and you haven’t been served papers, if you are being honest with me, you have nothing to worry about. You don’t need to be there tomorrow. I will come with you there tomorrow, but it’s going to cost you thousands of dollars. What do you want to do?” And I was like, “Do you really think I’ll be fine?” And she’s like, “Yeah.”

Renee Bauer (10:44):

So what happened?

Brittany Szabo (10:48):

So first of all, I wake up late, I’m going to cry because it’s just like Brittany, Brittany, Brittany. So I wake up late because I was literally up the night before drinking, standing in the mirror, practicing what I was going to say to the judge because I was so nervous. So I wake up late, I get there, but I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never been in a courtroom before. I have no attorney with me.

Brittany Szabo (11:09):

He has his attorney, his whole family there. And I wasn’t served paper, so I had no idea what I was walking into. And basically the judge talks for a little bit and then she says, “Okay, what was ordered?” And I said, “Okay, your honor, I just want to make sure we’re going back to our original schedule.” Me thinking what that original schedule was was before the 30 days I had gave up temporary custody, which was 50, 50. And she said, “Yes, what was ordered?” So I walked out of that courtroom, called my mom. I thought everything was fine-

Renee Bauer (11:37):

But that’s not what happened right?

Brittany Szabo (11:39):

No. Then I looked down at the paper and it says supervised and unsupervised visit.

Renee Bauer (11:42):

Oh, my God.

Brittany Szabo (11:44):

And that was the worst thing.

Renee Bauer (11:47):

So how long did that happen? How long did that go on for? The supervised visits.

Brittany Szabo (11:53):

Well, the one more thing for that day, you think the craziest thing in your life that would happen would be you losing custody of your kids. And the craziest thing is that I lost custody of my kids to my alcoholism. And the first thing I did when I walked out of that courtroom was I went and got a drink. And it’s terrible that that’s how bad I was in the disease. Thankfully, the next day I did end up checking myself into a detox. I needed a lot of help because I was so sick that if I stopped drinking on my own, I would have seizures and all that. So I ended up checking myself in the detox.

Brittany Szabo (12:37):

And then when I got out, I had emptied my bank account to go in there. I paid out of pocket. So when I got out, I couldn’t now afford this condo that I had just spent thousand sand thousand dollars, getting everything for. I finally got out of the situation, I was doing good, but now I can’t go back there because I can’t afford it. So I moved back in with him and the kids. And ultimately, I wanted to be with my kids, no matter what. And the whole thing is like he took my kids away from me saying I was unfit to parent. I had a problem with drinking, but I wasn’t like I was… I don’t know.

Brittany Szabo (13:13):

I don’t want to make my drinking to sound like it’s okay, but he took them away from me for being unfit to parent and then just lets me move right back in. And it’s like, if you really thought I was unfit to parent, you wouldn’t let me move back in.

Renee Bauer (13:27):

How long did you move back in with him? How long were you there?

Brittany Szabo (13:30):

I was at the detox for two weeks and then I moved back again. So I spent the last Thanksgiving and Christmas back there with them.

Renee Bauer (13:39):

And then when did you move out again?

Brittany Szabo (13:42):

I woke up one day. It was just bad. It was constantly us fighting and him trying to kick me out. So on February 1st of this year, I woke up to a suitcase being tossed on me, saying, get the F out. And I’m like, “Where am I supposed to go? Where am I supposed to go?” And it got pretty bad. So I called the police, they came and they’re like, “Yeah, she lives here too, you can’t just kick her out, but one of you need to leave.” So I decided to be the good one to leave. Anyways, we ended up getting into a fight and I actually get arrested.

Brittany Szabo (14:18):

So they arrested me for being under the influence, which was crazy because I was actually sober. The only thing I was on, I was prescribed Valium for my alcohol withdrawals because I had relapsed in January. I was a mess. It took me a while to get my life together, for sure. So I got arrested, I had to spend 12 hours in the drunk tank sober, which is funny because I am an alcoholic. I have been to the drunk tank many times, but never sober.

Brittany Szabo (14:41):

Oh, when I got out, I found out he had a restraining order on me and I could not, I wasn’t allowed back in the house or around the kids. And so that’s when I was basically homeless. So this was the beginning of February. Thankfully, that only lasted for a short time because it was really, really bad. My thing was always alcohol, but I was so depressed. At this point I couldn’t see or talk to my kids, and the restraining order was on me for something that someone else said. And I told my ex-husband out of concern for him, but he took it… He basically said it was a threat to him and I get it. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I was in his shoes because I was very manic, my brain like newly sober. And then back, it was a mess.

Speaker 2 (15:25):

We’ll be back just after this message.

Speaker 2 (15:28):

If you are feeling confused and overwhelmed by the divorce process, the D- Course can help. This video course will educate and empower you to make the best decisions for your future. Taught by an experienced divorce attorney, you will learn everything you need to move forward into your next chapter. Head on over to www.thedcourse.com for more information. You do not have to do this alone.

Renee Bauer (15:56):

So when did things shift for you? Because they have shifted in a huge way. And so that story that you tell is so, it’s hard. I can feel the emotion. I can feel the hurt and the pain and everything that you went through, but you are not there anymore. You are out, you are in an incredible place. So when did that change?

Brittany Szabo (16:18):

Yeah. So February 9th, I chose to get sober. I got on a plane and went back to Wisconsin and got sober. And through that time I actually decided I was really going to set my mind to changing my life. And the first thing was that I had to hire an attorney. So I found a really good attorney. Most of them said it could be three to five years before you saw your kids again. And, oh my gosh, that for a mother to hear it’s just like, it was so hard. But I stuck through it, showed up at my court date and I actually got legal custody back on February 28th. So I got legal custody back very quickly, but I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing.

Brittany Szabo (16:54):

I was literally proving my… I bought like a smartphone breathalyzer and I was doing drug tests, going to meetings. I was doing everything I had to do because I was serious about this. And I’ve stayed sober ever since. And my mom actually ended up moving out here with me, so we were able to get a place together. And so really I’ve had my kids, even though I haven’t had custody the whole time, I’ve had them in my life the whole entire time besides when the restraining order was on me for 28 days. And I still… Okay.

Brittany Szabo (17:25):

So once I got sober, I was like, are we going to… I want to make sure that the divorce is still something I wanted to do with enough sobriety time. And ultimately I decided that yes, we kind of had tried to reconcile and it just wasn’t there. So in June, like I said, I was done. And because of the situation, we had to go like no contact. And that was really, really hard. That was the hardest decision because I didn’t want to lose him as a friend. I love him, but I wasn’t in love with him. And that was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do that day.

Renee Bauer (18:00):

And you still have to co-parent too, that’s an added challenge.

Brittany Szabo (18:04):

So that’s the thing, is that did not happen for us for the last six months. So for the last six months, through that time, I started telling my story on TikTok and I had no idea. I literally started telling my story to hold me accountable for my alcohol. So the whole world knew that I was an alcoholic, so I can’t really drink around anyone. I really did to hold me accountable and what it has turned into is something so much more, so much more. I had no idea how many people will be able to relate or have gone through something similar and need help going through something similar. And through this, I have met now, all of my best friends. All of my friends, pretty much, I have met now through this app. And they are just some of the most amazing women that it’s just so interesting that the internet could bring us together like this.

Renee Bauer (18:55):

And so for my listeners, you have a lot of listeners probably are not on TikTok, maybe their kids are, but you have like over a million followers and you and your friends started something called the Queen Team. And can you just talk a little bit about that? Because you’re amassing a huge fan base around that work.

Brittany Szabo (19:18):

Yeah, it’s crazy. So this Queen Team, okay, so when Kelsey and Cody and I are… Kelsey and Cody and me are the three of this. It was literally the first time we had all got together and met, all three of us together. We were on a TikTok live, and we randomly decided we’re going to start this queen tribe and then tried but ended up not working out, and this is Queen Team. We had no idea really, when we were saying it, that what this was going to turn into, but it is like literally going around TikTok right now.

Brittany Szabo (19:44):

And so what we want to do is basically be a group of women supporting, loving, and empowering other women. And so we just had our first business meeting. We just got our business license, we’re really, really doing this. And there’s actually, I believe, six of us that are kind of in the whole business side of it. And we actually got Heidi D’amelio. Do you know Charlie D’amelio?

Renee Bauer (20:10):

No.

Brittany Szabo (20:11):

Okay. So Charlie D’amelio is the most, she’s like the most famous TikToker. She has 102 million followers. So Heidi D’amelio is her mom.

Renee Bauer (20:19):

Oh, wow.

Brittany Szabo (20:19):

So she’s very well known in the TikTok world. And so a couple of the girls actually went to her house and met her and she made a Queen Team cake and she’s like all four of us and wants to be a part of it. So that was a huge step for us because it’s just nice having someone with her experience and level on our team. So, but basically what we hope to do in the future is do fundraisers and a lot of volunteering. We’re all going have our own certain area where we’re focusing in.

Brittany Szabo (20:51):

One of them’s going to be confidence, one of those is going to be positivity, fashion, domestic violence, mine is going to be mainly recovery and addiction. And we’re all going to find our own ways to help in that, but then we’re also going to do queen retreats. So we’re talking like possibly renting a whole resort and people being able to come and we’ll have different speakers and events and-

Renee Bauer (21:11):

You’re building an empire.

Brittany Szabo (21:14):

Yes, we really are. And just all these women already are making these videos on TikTok and they just feel so happy and loved and a part of, all of a sudden, just like we say, because we are inclusive. We’re not saying it’s just six of us, we are literally, anybody who wants to be a part of our team, you can be a part of our team. We got matching tattoos. That’s another thing. All of a sudden, all these women were getting these crowns that we got and it’s just like, what? What did we even start? But it’s amazing.

Renee Bauer (21:46):

Let me ask you then, because your story is… When you tell it, you have so much pain telling it, but yet it’s part of who you are. Do you have any regrets? Would you go back and do anything different or is it where your growth came from and it allowed you to step into your power now?

Brittany Szabo (22:06):

Yeah, that’s a good question. So I literally, I always say my past doesn’t define me, it made me. I went through a lot stuff that I wouldn’t wish anyone else have to go through, but all of that needed to happen so I could be here where I am today. I would not be this person if I hadn’t have gone through all that. And so that was hard for me when I started sharing my story too. Do you feel comfortable really telling the world that you lost custody of your kids as a parent?

Brittany Szabo (22:36):

It’s one of the worst things that could happen to you and there’s definitely pros and cons, but the pros outweigh the cons by far and yeah, it’s just, it’s amazing to be able to help other women in these situations and even other addicts and alcoholics. I actually, through TikTok, I got a job at a treatment center too. So, so many amazing things have come from TikTok. So, no, I don’t regret anything. I don’t wish it on anyone to have to go through, but it made me who I am today, so.

Renee Bauer (23:14):

What advice do you have for someone who’s listening and maybe is secretly struggling or maybe not so secretly struggling with being an alcoholic or in that place that you were?

Brittany Szabo (23:28):

Yeah. So honestly, most of my messages I get are literally where I was at a year ago and it breaks my heart because I’ve been in that position. Literally I’d be like, I was just there. I was just there. And I know the feeling where it feels like you can’t get through it, but if you set your mind to it, you just really have to want it. That’s the thing, is a lot of… I was ready. I was really ready to change my life and get sober and have to get my kids back and have my life back. But you have to be ready. And I think just being honest. The first step with anything is just accepting you have a problem, and the next step is really telling people about it. You don’t have to tell the whole world, like I did, that’s what I had to do to get me accountable, but you don’t definitely have to do that, but yeah, definitely doing that.

Brittany Szabo (24:16):

And another thing is, so I’ve chose at the beginning of my TikTok to share a lot about my toxic relationship with my ex-husband and through this it’s… I mean, it’s been like seven or eight months now. I’m at a point today, where now we are able to co-parent finally, we are finally talking again, this is really new within the last week or two, but I am not very proud about how I talked about him, what I talked about happen and when I shared, it was to raise awareness mainly on toxic behaviors, like gaslighting and emotional abuse and stuff like that. I really talked about it to raise awareness so other women didn’t get so far down the hole as I did. Because gaslighting was a huge part of my story. But to be honest, whether I want to admit it or not, I chose to publicly shame the father of my children on social media.

Brittany Szabo (25:14):

And for that, I’m embarrassed, honestly. I helped a lot of women. I get messages all the time, like you gave me the courage to leave my narcissist husband. And I just, I hope that all those women, I hope they really needed to leave. And it’s just a hard place to be at because my intentions were not to do that, but I see that now. So I hope now going forward where we’re at with this co-parenting journey that that can give hope now to those women who did leave and are probably going through the same thing, what I went through with not being able to talk to them, I want to be able to show that you can find forgiveness. It took us a while. We still aren’t even officially divorced yet and it’s been a year and a half.

Renee Bauer (25:56):

I think what you just said is important enough to highlight because it’s that we are human and everyone makes mistakes along the way, and that’s okay. I don’t know anyone who has gone through the divorce process and has not said things, dumb things, talked about their ex in a way that they will look back and say, oh, maybe I shouldn’t have done that. I mean, it’s such an emotional process.

Brittany Szabo (26:24):

Right.

Renee Bauer (26:25):

It’s a human reaction to do that.

Brittany Szabo (26:27):

Yeah.

Renee Bauer (26:28):

So I think the problem is when someone spends five years doing that, then it just really hinders that co-parenting. But when you’re in it and you still are, and you’re not even divorced yet. And I think that that’s important to give yourself a break.

Brittany Szabo (26:44):

Yeah, yeah. Okay, good. I know. I was really.. A lot of my friends were like, don’t tell the internet, don’t tell the internet, like that. I’m kind of back speaking with my kid’s dad, but I was like, I just, I share everything, social media is my life now and I just, I really pride myself on being honest because in my addiction, I was not honest at all. And so I just, and I felt like what we were going through could actually be helpful to someone. There’s even certain things, like we had a conversation the other day, I say gaslighting is a story of my life yet he doesn’t even know what gaslighting is.

Brittany Szabo (27:22):

So there’s just a lot of things that I hope that in the future, I could possibly be helpful. Like what if these things were talked about more in relationships? Maybe a lot more could have been avoided. Maybe my intentions of what he was doing weren’t the same as his. I thought it was all for him to gain control, but maybe it wasn’t. And so I think there’s just a lot to hold that could possibly. If this goes out well, who knows, it’s only been a couple of weeks, so everyone’s like, “Brittany, don’t get your hopes up. You’ve been hurt a few times,” And I’m like, “Okay. Yeah.”

Renee Bauer (27:54):

Yeah. And I think that you just keep moving forward and you keep… When all else fails, you treat it like a business relationship and you speak to each other like you would a boss, and you remove the emotion from it. And sometimes it means not communicating on the phone immediately, like you’re doing it through email or text or something like that, where you can have a second to pause and not react.

Brittany Szabo (28:17):

Yeah. Yeah. We’ve been using [inaudible 00:28:19] parents actually.

Renee Bauer (28:21):

Yeah. So and that’s like one of those communication co-parenting apps, right?

Brittany Szabo (28:26):

Yeah. Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Renee Bauer (28:27):

Yeah. There’s a few of them out there. So it’s a journey. Co-parenting, the healing through the divorce is a journey, and then co-parenting with that person is a journey too, because there’s so much emotion wrapped up in that. And then your story is even thicker because of everything that you had gone through to rise from it. But I think the message of it is that anyone can absolutely come out the other side. And even when you feel like you’re at your lowest low and you’re in your darkest place, there is light if you allow it in and if you’re willing to pick yourself up and take a step forward, and that’s what your story is about. And it’s about being honest with yourself and really, with the world.

Brittany Szabo (29:15):

Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Renee Bauer (29:18):

So Brittany, we know that there’s huge things in store for you. I’m excited to see how it all unfolds because your tribe is really blowing it up out there. I mean, you guys are doing some really awesome stuff, so I’m excited to see where it goes. Where can everyone find you, follow you, connect with you?

Brittany Szabo (29:40):

Yeah. So my name on TikTok and Instagram is Brittany Jade with underscores. For legal reasons I decided to take my last name out, but then I still leave it in everywhere and now it’s like, whatever, whatever. So Brittany Jade, and then our business name, we’re calling ourselves the Queen Team, but our business name is Tactically Perfectly Queens. So you can find us on Instagram, Perfectly Queens, or on TikTok, Perfectly Queens. We are just kind of starting getting those accounts going, but we’re hoping to just from any woman who want to be a part of it, to be able to join in.

Brittany Szabo (30:14):

So it’s just a big community where these women know that they are loved and they feel just a part of. I think a lot of us lose… I did. A lot of us lose ourselves in marriage and motherhood. I did not know who I was. And so this has been such an amazing opportunity for me to really figure out who I am. It’s definitely a journey. I’m still figuring out who I am, especially with getting sober. I’m coming up on 11 months now. It’s crazy. It’s going to be almost a year.

Renee Bauer (30:42):

Congratulations.

Brittany Szabo (30:43):

Thank you. Yeah. And it’s been amazing. And another thing I really want to do is just show that sobriety can be fun. I think everybody thinks it’s boring, and so I really want to be a positive influence in that space, because that was my biggest fears when I first got sober, was I remember saying I’m going to be the most boring person ever. And that’s not the case.

Renee Bauer (31:05):

You just brought something up and I can’t let this interview end without talking about that, because that is so important. There is such a trend that glamorizes drinking. And there was actually just an orange juice commercial that showed it was like the mother with her orange juice and pouring champagne and hiding from her kids, and that was her break.

Brittany Szabo (31:28):

Oh, wow.

Renee Bauer (31:29):

And they got a lot of Slack for it.

Brittany Szabo (31:31):

Oh, yeah.

Renee Bauer (31:33):

But that’s kind of the culture that we’re in is drink to excess and [inaudible 00:31:40] there’s nothing bad with that. So I’m just wondering what your take is on that whole environment that we’re in right now.

Brittany Szabo (31:45):

Yeah. It’s almost like it’s used as an excuse for… Like I’m thinking about in a mom sense, like an excuse for like, that’s something the mom gets to do for a break. People used to always say to me, when they would see my kids, because my kids are amazing, but they’re really crazy. I had twin boys so-

Renee Bauer (32:03):

They’re so cute though.

Brittany Szabo (32:05):

They would see my kids and then be like, oh, but the first thing people would say, honestly is Brittany, no wonder why you drink so much. And I’d be like, “Oh yeah, I know.” And I’d be like, it took me a while, but I’m like, “No, I cannot use my kids for an excuse to drink.” And same on TikTok. It is huge. There’s drinking challenges on TikTok. Thankfully I’m like, not really on that side of TikTok because you’ve been getting on whatever side of the TikTok you want to be on. It’s crazy how the algorithm works. Do you do TikTok?

Renee Bauer (32:31):

I just signed up like a week ago.

Brittany Szabo (32:34):

Yay. I get it. Well, be prepared to be addicted.

Renee Bauer (32:38):

Yeah. I only scroll through a few times. I’m like, oh my God, everyone’s so creative on it. I’m like, I can’t do this right now.

Brittany Szabo (32:46):

Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I mean, my whole take is just, I think it’s very looked down on. It’s just like something that I’m mom gets to do. And even there’s a lot of like, I’ve listened to interviews and videos and it’s literally like, people will ask, how do you get through the day? Or how do you co-parent. And people’s responses, the first thing is drinking.

Renee Bauer (33:07):

Yeah.

Brittany Szabo (33:09):

I know it’s probably a joke, but it can be really serious for some people obviously. Some people will lose their whole entire family over it, some people will lose their lives over it. And so that’s been, there’s plenty of other ways to go about finding your relief and dealing with stress, that don’t happen to involve drinking. And props to everyone who can drink like a normal person, that’s… I say a normal person, let’s say we call it if you’re not an alcoholic.

Renee Bauer (33:36):

Yeah.

Brittany Szabo (33:36):

So yeah. So props everyone that can do that, that’s amazing. But some of us can’t and-

Renee Bauer (33:42):

I mean, and I think that’s such important work too, is to normalize that you don’t have to be drinking in order to have a break or some stress relief.

Brittany Szabo (33:51):

Yeah. I think it’s been like a wake up call for even some of my friends. Most of my friends are sober, but the ones that aren’t, they don’t drink around me. And so I think it’s been a nice wake up call for them too, because a lot of the internet knows them for being big partiers And then when I’m hanging out with the mix it’s like, they get the chance to say like, “Hey, I like to drink, I choose to drink, but I don’t need to drink.”

Renee Bauer (34:14):

Yeah. Yeah.

Brittany Szabo (34:15):

So it’s been an interesting journey for sure.

Renee Bauer (34:19):

Thank you so much for sharing this because this is really a topic that I haven’t spent a lot of time diving into and telling someone’s story, who sits on your side of it. And it’s such an important one because there are so many people out there who have that same story or are struggling with it themselves. So thank you. You are on your way to do some amazing, incredible things. So you are a queen in your own right. Thank you so much, Brittany.

Brittany Szabo (34:44):

Thank you Renee, for having me. Queen Team.

Speaker 2 (34:47):

That’s a wrap.

Speaker 2 (34:49):

Link up with us at Msreneebauer.com. Remember to rate and review and share with anyone you think might find this episode helpful.

Speaker 2 (34:56):

You can change your story and live happy even after.